Princess
by Miss Aircastle
Summary: In the six months that they'd been dating, James had never once seen Lily cry. It bothers him more than it should. Until Princess changes everything. [L/J Oneshot]


**Princess**

In the six months that they'd been dating, James had never once seen Lily cry.

Not when Slytherins called her a Mudblood, not when they fought (and oh, how they fought), not when they watched that sad movie, not even when Sirius accidentally dropped his cauldron and she spent a day in de the Hospital Wing with a smashed foot.

She yelled, she cursed (quite impressively) and she hexed, but she did not cry. His mother called her 'a tough cookie' after meeting her for the first time and James thought that was a rather accurate assessment of his girlfriend.

The Gryffindor boys complained a lot about their blubbering girlfriends, and congratulated him with his tough cookie girlfriend, that he didn't have to endure the endless tears. He grinned at that, knowing they were mostly right. He was really glad Lily wasn't like that, but in the privacy of his head, he could admit that it bothered him sometimes.

Why did she not cry? She didn't have to, of course not, but what if it was him? What if she didn't feel comfortable around him and was crying only when she was alone? The thought alone made his stomach turn. He wanted so badly to be the shoulder she could cry on. That was part of the deal after all, wasn't it? That was a boyfriend's job. The more he thought about it, the more it bugged him.

He couldn't tell her, of course. He had already made the mistake of confiding in Sirius after one (or maybe two) Firewhiskey too many. After Sirius had finally stopped laughing, he had told James what he thought of his troubles. The alcohol stopped Sirius from being able to form complete sentences, but what came out of his mouth contained of lot of 'pansy' and 'should count your lucky stars with her'. After that, James decided to keep his doubts to himself, suspecting she would probably take Sirius' side of the argument.

It was the letter she got on a normal seeming Wednesday evening that changed everything.

* * *

They were sitting in the common room, bickering about something stupid.

"I can't believe you!" Lily was outraged, and Merlin help him, James liked her best when she was outraged. He prided himself on the fact that she could get her _this_ fired up, better than anyone else.

"I'm sorry love, but I don't see the problem." Of course he _did_ , but he wasn't going to back down now.

"Really?" The sarcasm dripped from her voice. "You are actually trying to tell me that you didn't notice that Kelly Johnson was flirting with you this morning? Honestly James. I hate to burst your bubble, but there is not a woman in the world who wants to know more about ' _ze different Chaser formations in Quidditch.'_ The slag isn't even French!" Scoffing, she fell down on the couch next to him and crossed her arms.

"Oh come on Lil, it wasn't that bad, was it?" He slung an arm around her shoulders, just in case.

"Not that bad?" She scoffed "If she showed any more cleavage, I could've told you the colour of her knickers by looking down her shirt."

"Well there's a thought" James snickered, which earned him a dark look. "Merlin Evans, tame your jealous rages. Even if she was flirting with me, I didn't do anything with it, did I?" He started playing with her hair, knowing that usually placated her. And indeed, she sighed, smiling a bit.

"I know. But she makes me cross. I was right there, you know. And it's not a jealous rage, I just wanted to hex her a bit."

"Well, if you still need to let of some steam, I've got a few ideas." James suggested, while nibbling on her earlobe. She tried to look like she was mad at him for changing the subject, but she leaned into him anyway.

"Really Potter, do you still think you can get away with seducing me when you're done talking about something?"

"Well, yeah" James murmured, scattering kisses along her neck and jawline. "And best of all, you _know_ I can. Better yet, you're going to let me."

Lily opened her mouth to say something, that – James knew from experience - could range from 'you smarmy bastard' to 'by the way, I'm not wearing any knickers, let's go upstairs'. But he wasn't going to find out what she would've said, because at that moment an owl ticked on the window, startling both of them.

Lily, laughing at James' disappointed expression, kissed him quickly.

"Later maybe." She grinned "because I _am_ awfully interested in _ze different Chaser formations,_ you know."

James muttered something nasty, watching as she walked over to the window and accepted the letter from the owl.

"Don't look so down" she teased, glancing at the letter "it's not like –" and just like that she was silent. Her eyes went wide while reading.

"Lily?" James asked, now worried. "Are you okay?"

She opened her mouth a few times, trying to say something, but nothing came out.

"I – I gotta go." She stammered and without another word, she dropped the letter and ran away, out of the common room.

James didn't hesitate for a second and lunged for the letter she left on the floor.

 _Lily,_

 _You should not see this as me trying to reconnect, but I thought you should know that Princess is dying. Meet me at dr. Georges' office tonight._

 _Petunia_

There was no time for thinking (like who the hell this Princess was), so James ran after Lily, knowing she probably went to the Headmaster's office to apparate home. He arrived there completely out of breath and saw Dumbledore already standing there, in front of the stairs.

'Ah, mister Potter, I was wondering when you would arrive." He said, smiling like a man who knew it all.

"Sir..Lily..letter..where..please?" That was about everything James could wheeze at that point trying to catch his breath. While he was still leaning on his breath and trying to even his breath, the Headmaster handed him and old kettle.

"This will help, you'll find." And with that said, Dumbledore left.

Moments after that, James felt a tug around his navel and the world dissolved into blurs. When he could see clearly again, he was standing in front of a sombre looking building. He reasoned that Dumbledore would know what he was doing, so he walked inside. The plate next to the reception read 'Doctor George's vet practice'. So, animals. But still, James had no idea what he was doing here, because as far as he knew, Lily didn't have any pets.

"Can I help you?" The lady behind the counter asked him.

"Eh I think so. I'm here for my girlfriend, Lily Evans." James was nervous, not knowing if he should be here at all. He realised that it sounded like his girlfriend was one of the animals here, but the lady didn't notice. Or pretended not to, at least.

"Evans? Evans…Evans…ah, yes. Room 3, to the left."

"Thank you" Relief flooded through him; at least he was in the right place. He quickly followed her instructions and walked through the silent corridor. He was looking left and right, when he suddenly spotted a familiar flash of red. She was standing around an examination table, with her sister (James recognised her from Lily's harsh yet spot on descriptions) and someone looking very much like a doctor. George himself, probably.

"Lily?" He approached carefully, not knowing how she would react.

She whipped around, her face pale and her eyes wide. "James? What are you doing here?"

"I -, well. You ran. You ran and I was worried, so I followed." Not his best explanation, but it was the truth at least. No matter the circumstances, if Lily Evans ran; James Potter would follow. That's how it worked.

He walked forward to stand beside her and saw for the first time the big black cat that was lying on the table. The cat didn't look to great, with patches of fur missing and a chunk out of its left ear. Its eyes were half-closed, but it still managed to look somewhat threatening.

"So, eh, what's going on Lil?"

Lily didn't answer immediately, but just stood there, looking at the cat.

"Princess is my cat. Has been for the last 14 years. I picked him out of whole litter of kittens when I was a little girl. And now he's dying, because his kidney is failing." She spoke softly, rapidly, like she wanted to get it over with. "And he got in a fight yesterday. With three other toms. Idiot."

Her words were scolding, but laced with fondness, a tone of voice that James heard before. It was the same tone of voice she used when she talked about him and the other Marauders creating chaos in the castle.

"Can we get on with it? I've got other things to do." Petunia sneered suddenly. "It's not even my cat, but as usual I'm taking care of your problems."

For the inexperienced onlooker, Lily only glanced at her sister and her shoulder dropped a bit. But James, somewhat of an expert on his girlfriends' famous temper, saw the different emotions flash across her face. Anger, fury, frustration, sadness and resignation, all in one second.

"I'm sorry Tuney." Lily mumbled, looking everywhere but at him. "I'll – I'll say goodbye."

She walked over to the table, smiling at the cat. "I'll miss you, you know."

Her hand stroked the cat between its ears and he purred softly. It could be his imagination, or the fact that he spent too much time around Padfoot, but to James, it looked like the cat grinned winningly at James.

 _That's right, you git. She loved me first._

And even though this confirmed his belief that he was more of a dog person, James smiled wryly at the cat.

 _I'm not even mad mate, I know how that feels._

Lily was still talking to the cat. "- you know that time I tried to give you a collar and I found it in my bed the next morning? Or every time I walked away from my homework in the summer, you would decide that on top of my essay was the best place to do your morning wash?" She sighed. "I don't want to put you down, but I don't want to see you in pain either. So, goodbye Princess."

After one last stroke of the cats' fur, she nodded at the doctor. "Do it." Lily walked over to stand next to James. He grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

It was done in a few minutes. First Princess got an injection to put him to sleep, and after that another one to stop his heart. The doctor nodded at Lily. "He's gone."

Petunia grabbed her coat, murmured something about getting the car and left. The doctor left quietly, leaving James with a dead cat and a silent girlfriend.

He touched her shoulder "Lil, I'm sorry –". He never got to finish his sentence. Because Lily turned around and threw herself at him, her arms locked tightly around his waist. It took James a second to wrap his arms around her petite frame, and another to realise she was shaking and that he felt his shirt get wet.

Lily Evans, his tough girlfriend, was crying.

Not one or two elegant tears, oh no. She was full blown blubbering into his shirt. James stroked her hair and whispered that it would be alright, that he was there for her, suddenly at a loss. It was not like you got a guide, the moment you got a relationship with a girl: ' _How To Deal With Crying Girls, in 4 easy steps_ ' (which should totally be a thing, he thought, along with _'10 things you should never say when she's on her period_ ').

After a while her breaths got even again and the crying stopped.

"Better?"

 _You okay?_ seemed like a stupid question, when she was obviously not okay. For the first time since he'd arrived, she looked at him and nodded.

"A bit, yeah. Thanks. Sorry for dragging you into this."

"Don't you say sorry." He smiled a bit. "First of all, I dragged myself. And second of all: I'm your _boyfriend_. It is my job to be there for you when you're sad. You shouldn't have to feel like you can't cry in front of me. And… _I'm_ sorry Lily, if I gave you that idea."

To his surprise, Lily laughed. _Laughed,_ even though her eyes and cheeks were still wet from crying.

"Did you actually think I didn't cry because of you?" Her smile lessened the knot in his stomach. "James, I never told you about Princess because it hurt too much. I wanted to bring him to Hogwarts, but he is totally impossible most of the time, so my parents wouldn't allow it at the time. After they died, Princess was the only one left from home that didn't hate me. I just..couldn't. You know how much I hate being vulnerable, James."

Her confession chased his last doubts away. Something that felt a lot like love sprang up inside him, staring at the girl in front of him. He ducked a bit so he could look into her eyes.

"I know, and I don't care. You know that, right? If you don't want to tell me something, that's fine, as long as you know that I'm there if you _do_ want to tell me something. I'm not going anywhere. If I can get you to go out with me after years of yelling and cursing, I think I can handle a few tears."

"Git." But she was grinning now, and James figured he did okay for his first time. He slung an arm around her shoulder, and together they started walking outside. Lily carried the box with Princess in it.

"By the way, Princess? What did the poor thing do to deserve that?"

"Shut up. I was four and thought all kittens were girls. He wore the name like a real man."

"I think there's an insult in there somewhere and I choose to ignore it, because we both know I'm a walking example of manliness."

"Keep on dreaming, Potter." Bantering back and forth, Lily returned to _his_ Lily again.

That night, they buried Princess in the garden of Lily's home and Lily cried a bit more.

As James tugged her into his side, he realised it was getting easier for both of them. His imagination offered an image of Princess purring contently on a cloud, looking down at them. He grinned, thinking he could learn to be a bit of a cat person after all.


End file.
